Monday, February 9, 2009

Last Thing I'll Say About It (Until November, Of Course, When the Next One is Released)

So remember my long spiel about how I had to read the Twilight books before I saw the movie?

Well, my sister and I -- by now we have both read at least the first book in the saga -- finally carved out time to go see the movie yesterday, before it completely disappeared from theaters. And...

It was so disappointing.

The screenplay wasn't tight at all; it gave me a feeling similar to one I might have while riding around in stop-and-go traffic -- completely jerky and awkward.

And the acting? I think that Kristen Stewart totally "brought it." She looked the part, she acted the part, and was so comfortable in her role that it was a joy to watch her character on screen. Robert Pattinson, on the other hand, was simply awful. Like, bizarrely awful. Out of the 5,000 guys who auditioned for the lead male role, this is who they chose? Really?

Not to anger tween goth girls everywhere, I will certainly agree that he looks perfect for the role, but that's pretty much where his credentials end, because after he opens his mouth the spell is broken. He just seemed kind of... befuddled... in each scene, almost as if he were really confused as to what the scene's objective was. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even actually read the books, because his interpretation of the character was not at all in tune with the character from the book. Was it the bad screenplay that he couldn't work with? Was it bad directing? Did he fall and hit his head during a stunt sequence? Was he too preoccupied with trying to cover up his British accent? Come on, Rob, we want to like you, just help us out a little.

I understand that sometimes seeing a movie after reading the book is likely to be disappointing, as the characters and plot and background story rarely live up to what has been built up in the novel.

However, having said that, I don't think that's the case here. I'm pretty sure that if I had just gone in and watched the movie cold (Ha! -- cold -- like a vampire -- get it? -- OK, sorry, that was stupid) I would have still been disappointed at a vampire who was less charming and mysterious and more like stoned or something and creepy. And wearing a TON of makeup. All the makeup I wear in a year was still less than the amount of face powder, red lipstick and eyeliner that they had applied to Pattinson's face for this film.

The experience made me desperately wish that I were a 16-year-old girl again, because surely then I could have been able to forget about the poorly constructed plot and ill-developed characters and just swoon at the image of the messy-haired heartthrob, right?

Despite all my whining and complaining, I am still glad I got to see the film, as it did have some entertainment value (even if that translates to making me burst into a fit of giggles during scenes which were clearly written to be absolutely serious). And also, I always (always, always) find book-to-movie adaptations interesting.

Which is why I'll most likely see the movies that follow, as well as continue to read the book series. Just please, someone get Mr. R-Pattz some acting lessons, stat.

The best thing about the movie? For me, it was the discovery of Iron and Wine's song "Flightless Bird American Mouth," which is featured near the end of the film. You can listen to it on Iron and Wine's MySpace page here, or head over to YouTube and subject yourself to any number of angsty Edward and Bella true-love tribute videos that are sure to induce gagging. The choice is yours.

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