The Good Recession

The whole situation with the economy being terrible, the magazine industry in more than a slump, the wage reduction at my work, and the possibility of losing my full-time job altogether has made me a tad obsessed lately with the idea of paring down my life and belongings.

Over the course of the past couple weeks I've gone through my entire closet and given away anything and everything that I don't wear anymore or that just doesn't fit. I also went through drawers in the bathroom and took inventory of my bath and body products: which ones I could throw out, which ones I could use up, which ones I didn't even know I had.

And the obsession hasn't been limited to aesthetics. I've gone through the kitchen, my desk area, the hall closet ... and I've been getting rid of things left and right. Or I've noticed things we've run out of around the house, and I think, "Do we really need more? Does it really need to be replaced?"

During this period of time in which every other entity in the country seems to be letting go of whatever they deem superfluous, it somehow makes me feel better to do the same. I feel lighter, like I have less to keep track of, less to contend with as I go about my daily routine.

I think recessions are good in the way that they remind us that we can do without certain things. They allow us a new perspective and give us reason to re-assign value to our possessions and sometimes, even the people in our lives whom maybe we've overlooked or taken for granted.

So I'm not saying that I'm suddenly at peace with the economic crisis, I'm just saying maybe it would help to think of the situation not as a "recession," but as a "renewal."

Or, as The Boston Globe's Drake Bennett put it so eloquently in his informative article "The Good Recession," you can think of this as one of many "periodic purges that burn off dead wood and make room for new growth." (I'm melting, I'm melting...)

The Mythical Pants

The story about the pants.

So, on a Sunday, my boyfriend says he wants a new pair of dark gray pants. We go to the store. And because he is a dude, he finds a pair that "will do" within milliseconds of having stepped into the men's department. He doesn't want to try them on before buying them, but he thinks maybe he'd better.

He tries them on, and in less than 15 seconds he declares them "good." (Sometimes I wonder if dudes are afraid clothing is set to self-destruct in the fitting rooms if worn too long.)

He buys the pants. We take them home.

My boyfriend wears the pants to work the next day. Mid-morning I get a text message: "My pant cuffs are two different sizes."

I text back: "That's ok, we can re-hem them to be the same width."

"No, not the hem, the openings are two different sizes."

"What?"

"My stupid pants have two different leg sizes."

After he gets home from work that day, he shows me. The openings at the ankles were hemmed to be two noticeably different sizes, off by at least an inch, maybe an inch and a half.

"Weird. OK, well I'll exchange them for you tomorrow," I say to him.

Easy enough, right?

The next day, while at work, I call the store where we purchased the pants. They tell me they don't have any pairs left that are my boyfriend's size. "But," they say, "we can give you the number to the next nearest store location. You can call and see if they have the correct size."

The next nearest store location happens to be half the distance to the moon, but fine. Whatever. My boyfriend really liked this pair of pants, and that only happens maybe two, three times in a guy's entire life.

So I call and explain the situation again. The lady there says, "You know what ... we just have so many pairs of gray men's pants here that it might just be best for you to come down here so we can match them up."

"Are you sure? I really don't want to drive all the way over there unless you're absolutely certain that you have so many pairs of pants in stock that we'll be guaranteed to find the pair I'm looking for, in the correct size."

"Oh I'm sure," she says. "We have tons."

I drive to the store, I find this lady, I show her the pants. "Ah yes, I know exactly which ones these are." And she says to follow her. We walk up to a wall of pants. She takes a moment to look through a couple stacks and then finally says, "You know what ... we just don't have that size. Yeah, see, we have this one and this one and that one, but we just don't have this pant in that size."

"But if you want," she tells me, "you can take these pants back to Customer Service and they can call all the different stores in the area and find out which ones do have it."

All right. I'm here. Might as well.

I show the people at Customer Service the pants. "Oh gawd, those are awwwful," they say. And, "Yeah, those aren't supposed to be like that." I know. That's why I'm trying to get rid of them. Please, take them. Please take them away.

I don't really need to recap the next experience. Suffice it to say that the next 60+ minutes involved a kind employee calling every store in the Phoenix metro area, trying to track down this pair of pants.

(And I don't like to be the kind of person who monopolizes all of a customer service employee's time, I really don't. So I just wanted to add here that it wasn't busy in the store, and the employee who helped me didn't look like he had much else to do.)

However, the phone calls all end in "no." And now at this point, I'm like, who cares, we'll just order them online.

"Can I return these without the card they were purchased on?" I ask. "We bought them with my boyfriend's card."

"Not unless you want a gift card or store credit."

"Um, no thanks," I say. "Nevermind, we'll just return them later."

I go back to work. My coworker asks me if I died and came back to life over my lunch hour. I say no, I had to try to return some pants. He tunes out. I begin working again.

I go home. I explain to my boyfriend about the pants and how they are apparently otherwise mythical except that we do own the only pair in that size in the whole state of Arizona, and it's too bad that they were made wrong. He thanks me for trying to get rid of them.

We wait until the weekend. We go back to the first store to return the pants. I hand the Customer Service employee the pants and the receipt. My boyfriend stands beside me, ready to reach for his debit card when the time arises. The lady does some fancy typing and clicking.

"All right," she says. "You're all set. The amount is being returned to your card."

I'm confused. "So you don't need us to swipe the card again for you?"

"Nope, that's all," she says, cheerily, and smiles at us.

We go home. We order the pants from a different company's website. They should be here by the end of this week. Hopefully. And the pant legs had better be the right size.

As I've Already Mentioned

So, with the magazine industry about to tank tanking, I've decided to try freelancing again.

Do you know what's great about freelancing? (Besides the obvious -- being able to work in your pajamas...) It forces you to learn a little about a lot of different subjects.

Now, do you know what stinks about freelancing? Learning a little about a lot of different subjects makes you feel like you're in school again. (I know what some of you are thinking. And yes, I actually liked school, too, to some healthy extent. I also enjoy going to the movies, but that doesn't mean I want to be trapped in a theater for the rest of my life, does it? It doesn't.)

Every writer I know is splitting his or her focus about seven different directions now. "Well, on Mondays and Tuesdays I write a week's worth of blogs for a site that my friend's friend runs. And on Wednesdays through Fridays, I work on all my articles I'm trying to submit to this online news site -- but that's just before noon, because after noon, on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I make myself query print publications to see if I can get any leads. And also, when I can, I make phone calls for this sales gig that one of my former coworkers got me into. On weekends I try to chip away at my book, but you know, most weeks I don't get that far."

That is no way to live. Sure, right now my fellow creatives and I may have to operate on a schedule that we don't like in order to pay the bills, but if this is just the way things are going to have to be until the economy turns around, then I'd like to at least make it a personal goal to work toward having the option of writing about things I want to write about.

Anyway, I'm still in the phase where I'm trying to figure out into which two or three or four outlets I want to split my focus. Soon, however, I'll be adding a widget to the side of my posts here that will list my monthly freelance earnings. I want it to serve as encouragement to meet my goals, and then later, hopefully, as a way to track my progress.

In related news, I have been having wicked eye strain and tension headaches lately. Probably due to the 10+ hours I spend in front of a computer all day. Too bad it's too soon to take a vacation.

Who needs cheering up? I do. Click here and you'll feel better -- or at least, different.

Happy Inauguration Day

What an amazing day. I hope that this is the beginning of something wonderful for all of us, our country and our planet.

Momma Needs Some Glitter

Today my new supply of cosmetics from Alima Pure arrived, courtesy of a Christmas gift certificate from one totally awesome friend of mine. (Thank you!)

This time I didn't order just samples -- no ma'am. But it's not like I ordered just a ton, either. As I've said before, a little Alima goes a long way, and this shipment should last me into fall. Seriously.

And god knows I'm going to need something to cover up the dark circles and fine lines caused by staying up too late writing, editing and blogging throughout 2009.

My Kick in the Pants

It's no secret that making magazines or newspapers is not exactly the most lucrative business to be in right now.

Nearly every industry in the U.S. economy is taking a hard hit, so it makes sense that less necessary items such as magazines, periodicals and trade journals are having one hell of a time maintaining their usual pace. In fact, many of them aren't. People just aren't spending the few bucks they used to picking up magazines. And clients don't have the cash to cough up for ads, either. As my friend Christine put it, "Now is a bad time to be whip cream, you know what I'm sayin'?"

So there are dozens of publications folding or struggling, and the one I work for is no exception. Effective this month, all my coworkers and I are enduring a wage reduction. The powers that be say it will last six months at most, but I have my doubts and believe it will likely go on much longer.

However, I'm trying to spin this as good and telling myself that this is just the sort of shove I needed to start approaching freelancing opportunities with more conviction. More determination. More desperation! ("The time has come," the Walrus said... to write of many, many things...)

And as always, I will be reporting my successes and failures here. Stay tuned. It'll change your life.

I'm Like Some Kind of Magician Now

I suppose I should confess that I did not, in fact, have time to make my double fudge chocolate cake in the slow cooker last weekend, hence I am photo-less. I know, believe me, I'm disappointed, too. Would it help, though, if I said that I did manage to make lasagna? No, of course not, because lasagna never photographs well, does it? I'll spare you.

But it certainly was delicious. (The lasagna.) The recipe was from Natalie Haughton's cookbook Slow & Easy: Fast-Fix Recipes for Your Electric Slow Cooker.

If you're new to slow cooking, I highly recommend this cookbook. The instructions are well written, Haughton also provides helpful side notes and tips for most recipes, and the ingredients are nothing too exotic or bizarre -- I usually already have everything on hand, or if I don't, I know I can find it without going to a specialty grocer.

God I love my slow cooker. It makes free time magically appear out of nowhere.

Time for a Change

I'm improving the look and style of things here. Could take a few days, so check back after I tidy up.

To Be Added to the List of Things That Make You Go: "Mmm...kaaaay..."

8 Weird (and Somehow Cool) Things from Reclaimed Puma Trainers, served up via Treehugger.com.

While the blender makes me think "wtf?" the flower pots actually got a brief "aww," even if it was inaudible.

Clapotis Update -- Nearly Finished

Am getting... so close... to the... end...

This is a photo of my updated progress on the Clapotis. The good news: Hooray! -- It's nearly finished; I just have a handful more decrease rows to go. The bad news: Boo! -- The pattern goes on for-ev-er. Additionally, as a result, the thing is freakin' huge. Look at the size of it. (See my highlighter to the right of it for scale.)

The pattern does describe the finished product as a type of hybrid scarf/shawl thing, but now that I've actually knitted it, the Clapotis seems impractically large for a person my size. (I'm 5'3".) I wrapped it around my neck and felt a little like I was about to be eaten by a boa constrictor.

Also, the fact that I live in Arizona, where there are really only something like four days a year that are cold enough to warrant the wearing of a scarf/shawl, makes this even more impractical. (I'm not sure what I was thinking, except that apparently I really failed to conceptualize how big it would end up being before I began.)

Yet, having said all that, I do plan on making another one, just slightly different. The pattern includes instructions for adaptation, so my next attempt will be narrower. I really love the drape and the accordion-like folds that the ladders of dropped stitches create, making the garment feel very thick and warm. I'll probably always leave this pattern unblocked (i.e., I won't steam it flat), so as to keep that crimped effect.

Not sure what I'm going to do with this thing after it's finished. Will I have a change of heart and decide that maybe it doesn't swamp me as badly as I originally thought? Will I unravel it and use the yarn for something else? (Hell no. Ahem, I mean... Probably not.) Maybe I can stash it somewhere in my apartment until I can gift it. (Preferably to a person who I'm sure does not read this blog, and has not read this post.)

More photos of knitted goodness to come!