A Pumpkin is a Fruit

Last night my boyfriend and I finally got around to carving our jack-o-lanterns. It was a really nice break from the normal evening routine and a good way to forget about work and laundry and bills, etc.

I mean, nothing cures one's ails like taking out some artful aggression on an over-sized squash, right?

My boyfriend's pumpkin (with the bat) is on the left, and mine (with the spider) is on the right.

What if I Entered the Conference Room in a Cupcake

Pray for me. I have to interview people today for the first time ever in my life, for my department's open copy editor position. I hope they don't pick up on the fact that I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing.

I think it will be OK. And either way, I'm getting a massage after all of it, at 4:00, in order to help with my back pain, so even if the interviews do go horribly wrong, at least maybe the stress will get massaged right out of me.

Plus ... yesterday some random person e-mailed one of our editors and asked her to please, please consider this item for the magazine's holiday gift guide:


It's a Cupcake Car. You can get one for a cool $25,000 right here.

I look at that photo, and suddenly, I feel better.

Image property of Neiman Marcus

My Job is Bad for My Health and Other News Bulletins

I took the above picture only a few moments ago. This is part of our "backyard" here at the condo, and that's a little family of javelinas that passes through every so often. Last night, while my boyfriend and I were eating dinner, we had opened our patio doors and so we could hear these guys munching around in the dark out there.

This morning, I got up and went out to the kitchen to open our window shades and make our coffee and, lo and behold, the javelina herd was still there, chewing up whatever edible things they could find among the dirt and rocks.

I watched them for a long time. I think next time they come by I should try to make a short video of them to post here. They're interesting creatures that a person might never really get to see unless he or she lives in the Southwest.

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A couple of months ago I messed up my back. Actually, correction: A couple of months ago my back started feeling like it was messed up. Every time I stand up after sitting for a long time, I can't immediately straighten up. It's like my back seizes up, and I have to walk several steps before I can stand up to my full height. It's been very uncomfortable and at times, pretty painful.

I'm only 25 years old, and if I didn't do so much desk work, I'd say I had no idea why this was happening to me when I'm still so young. But for all I know, I've been doing damage to it for years, via poor posture for too many hours spent sitting at a desk, combined with eye strain, neck strain, stress and who knows, maybe even the occasional inaccurately performed yoga pose or weight-lifting move.

So I've started going to a chiropractor. Which, by the way, I will fully admit that I was skeptical about doing in the beginning.

I think most people grow up going to an eye doctor, a dentist and a physician, and that's pretty much what they stick with for the rest of their lives. But how did we all decide that those were the only three doctors we ever needed to see regularly? Maybe it's just tradition by now.

At any rate, I think going to a chiropractor for a regular checkup is a great idea. I've been going for treatment for just over a month now and I'm starting to understand why we shouldn't ignore our spines. I'm also wondering why in the world I thought that they only special parts of my body that needed special doctors were my teeth and my eyes. Now it makes sense to me that my bones and my spine need special attention, too.

So two to three times a week I've been having my back and neck adjusted, and my treatment will last for a few more months. I've definitely become more conscious of my posture during the workdays. And I try to take more breaks to get up and stretch and walk around.

This whole experience has been a really excellent reminder to me of just how human I am; I can't just abuse my body and not expect to face the consequences. If I'm not good to it, it's going to let me know it's unhappy with me eventually, one way or another.

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And while we're on the subject of bodies threatening to break down ... my eyes ... hurt ...

A week and a half ago -- or maybe two weeks, I don't know, time is running together -- my eyes started getting really red and sensitive to light, and my vision started to become blurrier. I just figured that my eyes were tired from too much work and that my vision was just doing what it's always done -- gotten worse.

Nope. I was wrong. I went to the optometrist's office yesterday and they told me that I have infections in both my eyes caused by wearing my contacts for too many hours at a time, which is also suffocating my eyes because they're not getting enough oxygen, and the tiny infiltrates in my eyes, combined with the white blood cells that are fighting the infection, are scattering the light, causing everything to appear brighter and blurrier.

And the doctor also said that the infections are so bad that they're one step away from cornea ulcers. Cornea. Ulcers. I could have ulcers. On my eyes.

So now I am banned from wearing my contacts, and in fact, I have to throw out the rest of the contacts I bought for the next six months because it turns out I have to switch to a different, more "breathable" kind. AND, I get to put a steroid antibiotic drop in both eyes every three hours from now until my next check-up with the doctor Friday morning. Meanwhile, driving has become a tad bit more challenging during the day, and I just don't drive anywhere past sunset if I can help it. My boyfriend's been nice enough to chauffeur me around. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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Tonight I'm going to the pre-opening party of the Barneys New York in Scottsdale Fashion Square mall.

My editor and I are on a super secret mission. First, he and I must look the part -- there will be Armani suits and Chanel dresses involved. Next, there will be cocktails of the most frivolous, most delicious variety. And last, but not least, there will be charm like you've never seen charm before ... Our mission? To locate and approach Barneys creative director and fashion expert Simon Doonan and elicit from him some of the most burning questions in the fashion industry this holiday, i.e., "Simon, what do you want for Christmas?"

OK, so it's not really a secret mission, and we'll probably actually wear something like J. Crew and Banana Republic, but we do still have to track down that adorable man amid a crowd of gorgeous, expensively dressed socialites and ask him holiday questions, lest we wanted our editor in chief to kill us come the December issue. It will be just like an episode of Alias, I'm telling you.

Good times!

Puppies Make Everything Better

The bad news is that one of the web publications I've been freelancing for, my highest-paying client, actually, has cut back on freelance articles (I suspect due to budget constraints), and so I will be receiving significantly fewer checks from them. Bugger.

The good news is that this video makes me feel so much better about, well, everything:

Test

"This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do." -- Angela Chase, My So-Called Life



Have you ever gone through a personal crisis and just thought that it seemed so unfair that the world just kept on turning? Like how you're still expected to return phone calls, go to work, pay bills and get groceries? When all you really want to do is stop somebody, maybe even everybody, and say, "Hey, wait a minute. I can't deal with all this crap right now. I have bigger problems to take care of. Can't it wait?"

But the sick thing is, it can't wait. You still have work to do, you still have a family that needs you, and you definitely still have bills to pay. And so we simply have to deal. On the fly. On the go.

Have you ever noticed that how people deal with things -- how we all process the bad stuff that has happened or is happening to us -- really reflects what each of us is all about? Some people lock themselves in their bedroom for hours and cry their eyes out, some people watch TV, some people punch pillows, some people punch other people, some people drink, and some people start wielding weapons ...

We all deal different ways, because we're obviously all very different. Sad, non-confrontational, frustrated, angry, apathetic, aggressive. During really bad times it's like we get stripped down to the basic stuff we're made of in order to find out what kind of mental and emotional obstacles we're capable of overcoming.

But the really interesting thing is, this is always going on. Every person is dealing with something. And whether that something requires five seconds or 50 minutes to fully be explained, it is still being dealt with, still being processed, still testing that person.

I am currently dealing with a personal crisis. Probably just like everyone else. And I'm trying to remember that latter part every day. The cashier at my regular coffee shop ... The teller at my bank ... My coworkers ... Maybe they're all dealing with difficult things, too. Maybe the next time someone comes up to me and says something mean or rude, I'll be able to hear what they might really be saying: "Hey, wait a minute. I can't deal with all this crap right now. I have bigger problems to take care of. Can't it wait?"

Get Yer Knit On

Up until a week or two ago, I hadn't done any serious knitting in months. Something about my insanely demanding job and freelance writing activities, combined with the 100-plus-degree weather here in the summers, made me put it on hold for a while.

But I plan on getting back into the swing of things. In fact, I've already started something -- as well as compiled a list of all the future projects I want to work on. I'll keep these items in my queue, whether it takes me a year, or five years, to get to them.

In an unsure order:

1. "Ms. Marigold," a V-neck, sleeveless tank
2. Glampyre Knits' famed "One Skein Wonder"
3. "OpArt," an optical illusion baby blanket
4. "Bonbon" bath loofahs
5. "Sonnet" cardigan, knit from side to side
6. The other mitten to Kate Gilbert's "Gifted" pattern (I got sidetracked after the first one.)
7. "Easy Drop Stitch Scarf" at Frazzled Knits
8. Picnic Knits' "Snappy Hat"
9. "Buttercup Beret" by Sweet Sassafras
10. "Saartje's Bootees" by Saartje Knits
11. "Cashmere Fingerless Gloves" by The Purl Bee
12. "Daytrip Cardigan" by Neoknits
13. "Tank Girl" camisole (I would probably alter this one a teensy weensy bit ...)
14. And something by Presents Knits. Maybe even this.

Whew! I should be busy for the rest of my life with all that!

First thing's first, though ... I have to finish this ...


... because it is a birthday present for my dear friend, Ms. KT. Happy birthday, KT!!! It's a Clapotis, the color of um, dirt -- yeah, that's right, dirt -- just what you wanted. ;-)

I know it doesn't look like it, but I'm nearly halfway finished, and I'll mail it to you as soon as I can!

Sun Jars

Yesterday my boyfriend and I made sun jars using one of Lifehacker's tutorials.


Sun jars are solar-powered lights in frosted jars, so they charge up all day while the sun is out and then begin to glow after sunset.

I've wanted some of these things for a long time, ever since I saw them on ThinkGeek. Unfortunately, though, everywhere I looked online the jars ranged between $30 and $40 -- more than I could justify spending on outdoor whimsies.

And then I came across the Lifehacker tutorial, which you can find here. The assembly process is pretty straightforward, and we made our two in less than 30 minutes. In the end, they cost us about $11 each. I'm happy with how they turned out, and they give off a surprising amount of light.


If you make some, let me know how they turn out!


Photos by Sway Sovay

The Near-Nightmare in My Sister's Closet

A few weekends ago I went to one of my favorite clothing stores in Scottsdale -- a consignment boutique called My Sister's Closet.

The place is an answer to most women's prayers. They buy and sell "gently used" name-brand and designer clothing, shoes, handbags, jewelry, sunglasses, etc. And I am telling you, this store is a gold mine -- provided that you never go in looking for a specific sort of item. You have to just be ready to see where the shopping trip takes you, so to speak.

I went on a Saturday morning -- in fact, the Saturday morning the shop was unveiling all their new fall inventory and everything in the store was discounted even more than usual. I figured it would be worth checking out.

When I arrived, I was immediately overwhelmed. Here was my beloved, usually casual consignment boutique swarming with 100+ crazed women.

For probably a solid 10 minutes all I really did was wander the store from one end to the other, back and forth, weaving in and out of people and watching in semi-horror the chaos that was taking place. I honestly had a woman lean in front of me and step on my foot in order to snatch a top she thought I might be reaching for. (I wasn't.)

After I finally snapped out of it, I got down to business. But while other girls were grabbing animal print blouses and coats that looked like carpet bags, I was perfectly fine sifting through whatever GAP articles had come in.

I should confirm that I am, by no means, a style snob, although, thanks to nearly three years in the Scottsdale area and a year and a half working for a fashion mag, I do, for better or for worse, now know Burberry from Tod's and Alaïa from Diane von Furstenburg. It's not like I studied the labels, it just kind of happened. Kind of like how when I used to work at the Oklahoma Aquarium in Jenks, a byproduct of my job was that I learned the names of all the fish and could start telling the individual sharks apart from each other. Yeah, it's a little like that. But I digress ...

I have absolutely no shame in admitting that I love MSC both because I like nice things and I am frugal. Aren't a lot of other women out there, too? But on this most recent trip to the boutique, I rediscovered that there are different categories of frugality when it comes to Scottsdale women.

For example, I am not frugal in the kind of way that makes me feel obligated to buy a really hideous dress just because it's a marked-down Missoni. I don't consider buying an ugly, $1,000 article of designer clothing on sale for $200 to be coming out on top. I am more the kind of frugal that says, "Hey, isn't that the Banana Republic jacket I was looking at in the store window last year? Wow, it's only $17.50 here. I'm taking it."

Although there were women who staggered up to the checkout counter with both arms full, I walked away with only three things -- a white organic cotton cardigan knit in a lace pattern with a drawstring waist, as well as a light blue T-shirt with small flowers sewn on to one side of the neckline, both by J. Crew, and then a really lucky find: a black, sleeveless V-neck top with satin trim by Marciano by Guess.

The total cost of my purchases? $5 and change, thanks to some store credit I had after taking them some of my jeans at the beginning of the summer.

And on that note, happy Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week -- New York's annual celebration of all types of fashion, both beautiful and ugly.

Hunting

Some Background Information
A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were guests at a dinner party in North Scottsdale. Our hosts were our friends -- who happen to also be our landlords -- who live in a newly finished 7,000-square-foot Southwest-style home that is utterly gorgeous (if not a tad outrageous), nestled into some Arizona foothills.

One of the great things about our friends' new home is that it's on the outskirts of town, therefore they have peace and quiet, privacy and excellent unobstructed views for miles and miles.

One of the not-so-great things is that there are a lot of unwelcome creatures and critters lurking around just outside of town, including, but not limited to: rattlesnakes, javelinas, bobcats, mountain lions (yes, mountain lions) and scorpions.

[If you're wondering what a javelina is, Wikipedia can help with that. That main lesson, though, is that they're wild hogs. I know they don't immediately look like cold-blooded killers, and I will admit that the baby javelinas can sometimes be cute, but make no mistake, the adults have sharp tusks that can do some major damage. Each year dozens of domestic dogs are reported as having been killed by javelinas.]

And on the night of this particular dinner party, our friends and my boyfriend and I found the largest any of us has ever seen of one of the above-mentioned species of vermin -- up close and personal ...

Yup, a mountain lion.

No, not really. Thank god, no. That would have been one seriously tragic dinner party!

What I meant was, we found several of these guys crawling around the property:


(A Very Poor Primer on) How to Hunt For Scorpions
1. Do not hunt for scorpions alone. Take at least one person with you, preferably more, say, a half dozen. This will ensure that someone is able to call 911 if events should turn in that direction. (Important: see #2.) Note that the odds of at least one person being able to dial 911 greatly increase with the number of people accompanying you. This is particularly true if you take into consideration #2 and #3.

2. Take a cell phone with you. Just do.

3. If you are hunting scorpions after perhaps many, many (many) glasses of wine, be aware that wearing flip-flops on the excursion is not a good idea.

4. Actually, wearing flip-flops to go scorpion hunting is never a good idea.

5. Things you will need: A pair of pliers. A spray bottle filled with a lethal concentration of ammonia. And a black light flashlight. Of these, the black light flashlight is probably the most important. Why? Because for whatever reason, scorpions ...

GLOW!!!

(And no one knows why.)

At any rate, the pliers you will need in order to grab the little buggers and keep them from moving. The spray bottle you will need to then stun and annihilate your victims. (The ammonia makes the exoskeleton disintegrate. Yum.)

6. Also, take a camera.

7. Good luck.


Scenes from a Scorpion Hunt






**No humans were injured during the course of the events described above. However, the same cannot be said for the scorpions.**

Photos by Sway Sovay

I Had No Idea He Could Do Flips Like That

I would highly recommend the film 500 Days of Summer. Not only was it creative and an interesting expression of storytelling, but it was also an honest movie about love and loss and growing up. I think its one of my new indie faves.

And, just for fun, here is a short song and dance video that Zoey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the film's stars, made to accompany the She & Him song "Why Don't You Let Me Stay Here?"

(I should mention that the music video's bank robbery theme really doesn't have anything to do with the movie; however, She & Him is comprised of Miss Zooey Deschanel herself and the very talented M. Ward. Also, Marc Webb directed both the film and the music video. Still, I wouldn't want you going into 500 Days of Summer expecting a high-stakes heist...)