Thursday, July 31, 2008

Something I Don't Understand About the Human Race

Are you familiar with that rhetorical question, "Why do we always hurt the ones we love?"

It's a question for which there is an answer ... but it's an answer that doesn't happen to be good, and it's definitely not an answer which provides any justification.

The answer to the question is this: We hurt the ones we love because we take them and their feelings for granted.

But here's the really twisted part ...

When we do or say something that disappoints or angers or deeply frustrates a person we love, although it's definitely not a reflection of the love we have for them, it often is a reflection of the love they have for us.

This is because somewhere along the way they have proven to us -- whether it's by a grand gesture, a selfless gift or just by being there for the past x,xxx number of days -- that they love us regardless of who we are or what we may do, or any other peripheral factors. And in fact, it is because of our feelings of security in their love for us that, whether consciously or subconsciously, we feel confident that they won't walk away, even when we falter for a moment and unfairly take out all our grievances upon them.

We make the assumption that they can take it. In those moments when we might otherwise be with an acquaintance or a coworker or a perfect stranger, we have the maturity to not let our emotions get the best of us -- we can still walk the line between rational and irrational behavior. But then we come home on a bad day, and we snap at our moms, dads, wives, husbands for an unfair reason, we start a fight over something they had no control over. We brazenly act with no control, because we are so certain that it doesn't matter what we say or what we do to them today, they will still love us tomorrow and all will be forgiven.

Why do human beings do this to one another? I understand, but I don't understand.

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