Hunting

Some Background Information
A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were guests at a dinner party in North Scottsdale. Our hosts were our friends -- who happen to also be our landlords -- who live in a newly finished 7,000-square-foot Southwest-style home that is utterly gorgeous (if not a tad outrageous), nestled into some Arizona foothills.

One of the great things about our friends' new home is that it's on the outskirts of town, therefore they have peace and quiet, privacy and excellent unobstructed views for miles and miles.

One of the not-so-great things is that there are a lot of unwelcome creatures and critters lurking around just outside of town, including, but not limited to: rattlesnakes, javelinas, bobcats, mountain lions (yes, mountain lions) and scorpions.

[If you're wondering what a javelina is, Wikipedia can help with that. That main lesson, though, is that they're wild hogs. I know they don't immediately look like cold-blooded killers, and I will admit that the baby javelinas can sometimes be cute, but make no mistake, the adults have sharp tusks that can do some major damage. Each year dozens of domestic dogs are reported as having been killed by javelinas.]

And on the night of this particular dinner party, our friends and my boyfriend and I found the largest any of us has ever seen of one of the above-mentioned species of vermin -- up close and personal ...

Yup, a mountain lion.

No, not really. Thank god, no. That would have been one seriously tragic dinner party!

What I meant was, we found several of these guys crawling around the property:


(A Very Poor Primer on) How to Hunt For Scorpions
1. Do not hunt for scorpions alone. Take at least one person with you, preferably more, say, a half dozen. This will ensure that someone is able to call 911 if events should turn in that direction. (Important: see #2.) Note that the odds of at least one person being able to dial 911 greatly increase with the number of people accompanying you. This is particularly true if you take into consideration #2 and #3.

2. Take a cell phone with you. Just do.

3. If you are hunting scorpions after perhaps many, many (many) glasses of wine, be aware that wearing flip-flops on the excursion is not a good idea.

4. Actually, wearing flip-flops to go scorpion hunting is never a good idea.

5. Things you will need: A pair of pliers. A spray bottle filled with a lethal concentration of ammonia. And a black light flashlight. Of these, the black light flashlight is probably the most important. Why? Because for whatever reason, scorpions ...

GLOW!!!

(And no one knows why.)

At any rate, the pliers you will need in order to grab the little buggers and keep them from moving. The spray bottle you will need to then stun and annihilate your victims. (The ammonia makes the exoskeleton disintegrate. Yum.)

6. Also, take a camera.

7. Good luck.


Scenes from a Scorpion Hunt






**No humans were injured during the course of the events described above. However, the same cannot be said for the scorpions.**

Photos by Sway Sovay

I Had No Idea He Could Do Flips Like That

I would highly recommend the film 500 Days of Summer. Not only was it creative and an interesting expression of storytelling, but it was also an honest movie about love and loss and growing up. I think its one of my new indie faves.

And, just for fun, here is a short song and dance video that Zoey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the film's stars, made to accompany the She & Him song "Why Don't You Let Me Stay Here?"

(I should mention that the music video's bank robbery theme really doesn't have anything to do with the movie; however, She & Him is comprised of Miss Zooey Deschanel herself and the very talented M. Ward. Also, Marc Webb directed both the film and the music video. Still, I wouldn't want you going into 500 Days of Summer expecting a high-stakes heist...)

"Xixi No Banho" is Portuguese for "Pee in the Bath"

First, some backstory as to how I wandered upon this bit of information. I am currently writing a series of articles focused on the waste management situations of various countries. In doing so, I have had to do a lot of research and read all the information I can pertaining to these countries' environmental-friendly and not-so-environmental-friendly practices.

Right now, I am writing about Brazil. And in reading articles for research, I came across this oddity:

Brazil Forest Group says "Go Green ... Go in the Shower"

Yes, it is what you think. It is an environmentally conscious organization promoting encouraging people to pee in the shower in order to save water. And if you click through, you will find a link to a YouTube video from the ad campaign, as well as the campaign's website.

Let me just say this: I see their point. And their point makes sense. However, I still think it's unsanitary and disgusting. No "xixi no banho" for me.

An Open Letter to Life

Dear Life,

Hey. So. It's been a while. Sorry I haven't had more time for re-examination. Guess I'll have to make it up to you.

Anyway, I guess the reason I'm writing is because I have a few things I'd like to discuss. Such as ... for example ... why July went so fast.

I mean, why did it go so fast? Right? Did you feel it, too? And for that matter, why is this whole year going so fast? It was January, like, yesterday. Are you sure you aren't messin' with the clock or something? Not even a little? It's OK, you can be honest ...

And another thing. A bigger thing. I would like to know why, exactly, you look like this. Please explain. Why am I coming home to an empty house, skipping dinner, pouring myself a glass of wine, watching episodes of My So-Called Life on DVD, keeping the thermostat on 82 to save money, changing my mind about dinner and having a sad, cold piece of pizza, turning to my blog (my blog! I swore I would never become one of those people ... too late ...), keeping an eye out for the hummingbird at the feeder outside the dining room window and washing new towels over and over again to get rid of the fuzzies in order to keep myself occupied on a weeknight? Hmm? ...

WHILE

... My boyfriend has been half a world away, in Venice, Italy, with his family, since last Friday, having a world-class life experience for one week, without me ... although he and I have known each other since we were 11, been dating for almost three years and have never -- I repeat, never -- been on our own vacation together ...

?????????




Whatever, no big deal. You must be mad at me for something I don't remember, and OK, I get that. It's fine. I'm sure, somewhere back there, I probably pushed the envelope a little too far and crossed you. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I will now take this time to say I'm sorry. So ... I'm sorry.

But still, I do think that maybe it was a bit much for you to have orchestrated for it to be Print Week at my job in the week leading up to my boyfriend's departure. You know I always have to work late every night of Print, so that was kind of harsh. And the fact that I had to drop him off at the airport at 4:30 in the morning? Seriously, what was that?! Adding insult to injury, that's what.

Sigh. Life, I love you, but honestly, you're really, really lucky that things like friends, sisters, sushi, chocolate, wine, Apple (yes, the company), fluffy pillows, the GAP and The Pioneer Woman exist. Otherwise, I'm fairly certain I would be hating you right now.

So that's it. I just wanted to say, "What gives?" and wish you -- and me -- a good rest of the week.

Oh, and one teeny, tiny request. I would like to take a vacation in September. Do you think that could be arranged? Let me know.

All the best,
Your friend Sway